Mispronounced medical terms

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Enter any of these mispronounced medical conditions for corrected spelling. (We do not have posters for all them.) Slang is converted to anatomically correct language. For additional fun, you can type how you feel about the site for interesting responses.

Alzheimer's disease (not: "All-timers" or "Alltimers" or "Old-timer's disease" or "oldtimers")
Brain disorder named for German physician Alois Alzheimer, who first described it in 1906. (An "old-timer" is an aged individual.)
Asthma (not: "Azma" or "Assma" or "Asma")
Chronic inflammatory disease characterized by bronchospasm resulting in wheezing, cough, chest tightness and shortness of breath.
("Asma" is Spanish for "Asthma."
Bestiality (not: "Beastiality")
Illegal sexual or intimate contact with an animal (excluding husbandry) or fixation on such a practice. Also called zoophilia.
(This is one instance where the misspelling appears more inaccurate than the best spelling.)
Cirrhosis of the liver (not: "Sea urchins in my liver" or "Scoliosis of the liver" or "Shiver-osis of the liver")
Progressive loss of liver function characterized by replacement of healthy liver tissue with fibrosis, a scar tissue and regenerative nodules, most commonly caused by alcoholism, hepatitis B and C and fatty liver disease but has may other possible causes. ("Sea urchins in my liver" is either a fish tank ornament or very painful 1- to 4-inch prickly spine-covered shell that made its way in the digestive tract. "Shiver-osis of the liver" is likely a condition involving very cold, bad-tasting Jello.)
Demodicidosis (not: "Demodosis" or "Dem-Old-Die-Doses")
A dermatological condition where mites embed themselves either in hair follicles or skin.
("Dem old die doses" are potentially fatal out-of-date medical prescriptions.)
Eczema (not: "Exema" or "Eggs-and-Ma")
General term for many types of non-contagious skin inflammation or dermatitis. ("Eggs and Ma" is breakfast with your mom.)
Elephantiasis (not: "Elephantitis" or "Elefantitis")
Extreme swelling of the limbs or regions of the head and neck caused by an excess fluid build-up in the tissues as a result of parasites that affect the lymphatic system. ("Elephantitis" is inflammation of the elephant.)
Gluteus (not: "glutes" or "gloots")
Any of three muscles in each buttock that move the thigh, the largest of which is the gluteus maximus. ("Glutes" is a common informal abbreviation of gluteus.)
Healthcare (or: Health care)
Both are correct though two words are more common. Cambridge dictionaries online (Learners, American English). There may be a distinction when one is receiveing health related care (two words) and a noun referencing an industry (one word).
Heimlich maneuver (not: "Heineken remover" or "Himelick maneuver" or "Hind-lick maneuver")
Abdominal thrusts used to dislodge foreign matter from the trachea.
(A "Heineken remover" is likely a bottle opener or very thirsty man. "Hind-lick maneuver" is something a dog does to clean itself.)
The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.
(Hippo is a very heavy, mostly herbivorous mammal.)
Menstruation (not: 'Ministration)
A woman's monthly discharge from the lining of the uterus, generally accompanied by behavioral changes.
(Ministration is a provision of assistance or care.)
Menopause (not: "Menapause" or "Many-paws" or "Mini-pause")
Cessation of menstruation generally occurring between 45 and 50 years of age generally accompanied by additional physiological and emotional changes. ("Mini pause" is a duration much shorter than menopause.)
Mispronunciation (not: "Mispronounciation")
Inaccurate or incorrect pronunciation. Past tense of pronunciation is "pronounced".
("This is somewhat of an absurdity in English language but remember to leave the pro nun in association.)
Multiple sclerosis (not: "Multiple scoliosis" or "Multiple scarrosis" or "scare-roses")
Chronic disease involving damage to the sheaths of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, whose symptoms may include progressive numbness, speech and muscular impairment, blurred vision, and severe fatigue.
("Multiple scare roses" describes a wife's reaction to a bouquet of flowers presented by her husband for the first time in a decade.)
Patients (not: Patience)
Though both are actual words, in the context of medical customers, "patients" is the correct spelling.
(A physician with little patience will have fewer patients.)
Prostate (not: Prostrate)
A compound tubuloalveolar exocrine gland of the male reproductive system. In 2002, female paraurethral glands, or Skene's glands, were officially renamed the female prostate by the Federative International Committee on Anatomical Terminology.
(Prostrate is to lay on the floor with one's face downward.)
Schizophrenia (not: "Skitzoid"  or "Skip-to-friendly-eye")
A mental disorder characterized by a disintegration of the process of thinking and of emotional responsiveness. It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking, and it is accompanied by significant social or occupational dysfunction. ("Skip to friendly eye" is even more absurd.)
Venereology (not: "Venerology")
A branch of medicine concerned with venereal diseases.
Vertigo (not: "Vertical" or "Vertago" )
A sensation of whirling and loss of balance. (Vertical is up-and-down orientation.)